As adults, the amount of time we have in a day (or even a weekend) to just chill is at an all-time low—especially if you have a spouse and children. And when you do have a spare moment, you’re more likely to household chores, watch a movie or get some well-deserved rest than seek out social time. Finding time to nurture your friendships is important because Godly friends enjoy doing and enduring for each other.
Jesus said, "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends," (John 15:13). Godly friendships are self-sacrificing and life-transforming. The intimacy we long for is found in Christ and expressed through our Godly friendships. I'm not saying you have to be close friends with everyone. I believe it's important to differentiate between friendship and acquaintance, your close friends and social friends. I've come to realize that sometimes people mourn friends that may not even mesh with their current lifestyle or value system—which is normal!
But since we have less time to spare as grown ups, it’s important that we prioritize the quality of friends over the quantity of friends (don't spread yourself thin). That may sound kinda harsh? Well, consider the fact that your free time is finite, so if you’re holding on to or feeling guilty about neglecting friendships that aren’t even fulfilling to you, you have less room for friends who have more to offer. So, before you start looking for new besties audit your current relationships by asking yourself: What do I value? How have my values changed since I started hanging out with this person? Is our current friendship in line with those values? If not, maybe it’s time to step back to make space for people who appreciate the things that are important to you now.
Make time for the friendship(s) that aren't one sided, masked, or filled with flattery, with no substance. Do these friends support your dreams and visions? I'm not talking about monetary. Support comes in many forms other than monetary. Like, do they share the good news with others so they too may benefit? Do they lend a shoulder to cry on, encourage and celebrate your accomplishments with you, or water them down and abandon you? Do they add to your life or become a distraction that drains you vs. lifting you up? Be mindful, to not put all your eggs in a basket, it's okay to have a friend you walk, or workout with. A friend you can make wreaths with or go to for creative projects. Hey, a connection is still a connection.
Who doesn’t love the idea of having that one best friend you spend all of your time with, but as you age that's just not suitable with the logistics of your lifestyle. Because older usually translates to being busier. That one person may not be able to give you all that you need. Which could leave you hurt if they go MIA. Don't compare your friendships to what you see on social media. Why? Social media is engineered for you to feel left out, to feel like you're not doing something that other people are doing.
When looking at His beautiful creation, God saw Adam and said that it is not good for man to be alone. I have often used this as a marriage verse, but I believe God created us to live in communities, to join together in relationships, and to support and love one another as we journey the ups and downs of life. Friends influence us whether we want them to or not.